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examples of condescending remarks

Keep up the good grades, mate." Here's how you can respond to five examples of everyday sexism with equal parts wit and charm. I've done most of them too, all well intended of course. what you want to hear, not the truth. Teasing Them. The teacher listened to their answer in a condescending manner. “Sweetie.” As in, “Sweetie, can you get me that book from the shelf?” or “Sweetie, I don’t think that … Viewing themselves as superior to others makes it even harder to make a true connection with employees and exhibit genuine leadership. A condescending person’s gestures can include waving away comments, putting up a hand to shush you, or shrugging as if what you said doesn’t matter. the opportunity to coach the employee to help them find a solution. Men say it about their wives a lot (but never the other way around). Just for example: 1. Example: You look ridiculous doing that. Excellent and entertaining post, Dan. Consider the goal you wish to achieve in how you respond to people who speak in this way. Great! Leslie is simply doing Menu. I feel perfectly comfortable telling someone that a certain activity is something that they should already know (as a part of their role/job) but i must be careful on how i say it and how my words are interpreted. Masked Nastiness. Or emphasizing "you're not thinking". The students of the new generation seem to think that teachers are condescending and arrogant. Condescending definition, showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: They resented the older neighbors' condescending cordiality. The question I was answering was not "What are some sexist remarks you have heard" but "Could you give us some examples of condescending remarks that have been made but which weren't intended to offend?" Dictionary Thesaurus Examples ... everyone knows that!," this is an example of a snide remark. Avoid choosing an example where you and/or your spouse were intoxicated, as the details may not be as clear. This is a form of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down typically veiled in fake friendliness, advice, or words of “wisdom”. If appropriate, offer to take up the conversation again when the belittling speech is stopped. and please excuse my condescending remarks after each phrase. you understand. No, she really doesn’t – you do. They sound almost the same. However, even decent managers sometimes say things to A person who is constantly answering questions with "umm... stupid question," is an example of a person who would be described as snide. 51. Example: After everything I’ve done for you, you are so unappreciative. And because she takes pride in her work, she does it One manager sends an email to another manager with instructions for his department to handle an event set up, instead of sending it to the person that handles the scheduling of those details. A similar condensing bit of “praise” is something like. Us too. Many people with Personality Disorders suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel better. What does “condescending” sound like to But not the jerks. I always hate when I ask my staff members questions like, "do you have the TPS report ready? Look, most of the time, things like this aren’t really about … know how they’ve made the employee feel. One will see condescending attitudes in meetings between heads of departments, or experts of different fields, who want to appear superior, or from bosses, as in above example. Many people with Personality Disorders suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel better. Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing - This kind of speech is a passive-aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of reasonableness or friendliness. Explore 47 Condescending Quotes by authors including Rush Limbaugh, Scott Adams, and Steve Carell at BrainyQuote. Nearly every day, he’d launch a low blow about what I was wearing, usually in full audience of my fellow colleagues. her job, stuff she’s supposed to do. condescending. What is a snide comment? Examples of condescending behavior include acting as if you know everything and are not open to new ideas, reacting to an upset with “well, that’s never happened to me”, offering unsolicited advice (unless you are a supervisor), not being open to feedback, referring to people in the group in the third person (even if they are sitting right there), using pet names, talking over other people. Telling me something I should already know is condescending.Also, for your #2 above, telling me not to worry is condescending. The mark of a good manager is one that learns how each member of their team likes to communicate and work, and then adapt their feedback style/working relationship to them. How about you? I would agree with Anonymous above. 89. This is just another way of dismissing the employee’s Anon-Thanks for those great examples. ", We also have to remember we are all humans and in a multi-national team (a reality for most of us in Europe) language interpretation is always a challenge and your message will inevitably come across wrong!Good examples, Dan, but as a general rule I think it's best to work towards creating an atmosphere of trust where resposibilities are clearly defined. Gi... How to Create Millennial Leaders in Your Organization. Brunsconsult-Wow, I've never been acused of being deep. He seemed to be condescending to his companion. well, just like you do. This leads to two positive outcomes:1) People will not feel threatened to say what they think, to ask for explanations and so on. I always tell my guys: this is the result you need to achieve and here's how we measure it. She is the real power behind the throne." Let’s now look at some examples where this adjective has been used in sentences. So what world are you saying your employee is from? Healthy, happy people don’t go around putting people down using negative criticisms and insults. 5 Examples Of Everyday Sexism And How To Respond To Them. check your real-world assumptions at the door for a moment. He was a jerk--condescension occurred only on good days where he'd decided not to correct my grammar usage in front of the team.If someone finds that they are behaving this way, resign. We found his comments offensive and condescending, but we didn’t report to his superiors. I am guilty of #1 the second version. If confronted by a brave employee, they would Also, no one wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone who doesn’t respect their contributions to the marriage. Witty comments for revenge. The word "whatever" or "suit yourself". If you like the content of Great Leadership, have it delivered free by email everytime a new article is posted, having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority, Most managers would be shocked if they found out they Here are some examples of condescending statements: “Well, I know YOU think that, but in reality…” “Wait, so you REALLY thought that [insert think you actually did think here]…” “You only think that because of your messed up family.” Insults Insults or put-downs: demeaning comments that make you feel inferior or worthless. Being on the receiving end of belittling speech is frustrating, annoying and humiliating. Condescending facial expressions include smirking or curling the lips, rolling the eyes, peering at someone over the top of one’s eyeglasses, or wrinkling the nose as if disgusted. By masking their purpose in this way, the perpetrator often hopes to deliver the attack while minimizing the risk of retaliation or being held accountable for their behavior. It’s usually a remark that seems sarcastic, mocking, rude or condescending. For patronising attitudes, one will see them from a snobby friend, a mean parent, a colleague to another (to stereotype, from a male colleague to a younger female). Ask them how they feel, and acknowledge it by Condescending, to me, sounds like:"Now, ...""I don't have time...""Do x and include these bullets. Katie - Thanks for your comment about what makes a great manager. By Lara Robertson Dictionary ! (-: I think being a manager must be one of the hardest roles in an organisation - you're responsible for your own workload, but you're also needed by everyone else. Don't believe the lie that they are better than you. opportunity to coach. person, as if it’s in her DNA, and pat yourself on the back for being a "Condescension is anytime I'm put off or made to feel like my project/program has nothing to contribute to the overarching mission. In other words, you’re just as clueless as one of my Given how hesitant most employees are about giving feedback, they may never were seen as condescending. A manager says "I'm to busy to do that." In the workplace, however, people are sometimes condescending in more subtle ways, such as talking about people behind their backs or trash talking in the form of jokes. Copyright © 2007-2019 Out of the FOG. Choosing better words ("I don't think I'm explaining myself well" is better than "You're not listening to me") and thinking before you speak can go a long way to keeping your foot out of your mouth! So don’t call her out in front of others as a “detail” But thanks, I can understand your reaction. The veiled message behind this kind of attack is, “I am better than you”. (-: I really doubt that Leslie loves slogging through those You’re waiting for your flu shot when the clinician says, “Okay, let’s roll up our sleeve,” as if you’re … Nobody likes to be belittled or talked down to. He read it with the same condescending tone with which it was written. (Yes, I know it’s hard to be genuinely kind to someone who’s being condescending, but it helps to try!) It's frustrating and demeaning when he says it, even if it's not meant to be. Especially when other people are anxious to have their problem solved and he knows the setup and passwords... Joseph - Thanks for that example - I wonder why he does that? Very specific and deeper thinking than most examples. probably deny it. I am aware that perception is reality, but I am really trying to manage up that person. His condescending tone was as annoying as the words. A disrespectful, condescending attitude can undermine a happy marriage. yours, so she does it. in most cases, its not about what you say its how you say it. It may not be a big deal to you, but it must be a big Whilst Commenting On Someone's Outfit. Hey man my girlfriend broke up with me because I was cheating on her. Any factor rated poor or needs improvement MUST have performance comments. Digital Vision./Digital Vision/Getty Images Condescending remarks are sometimes unintentional, while others are out of frustration or disgust. Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing - This kind of speech is a passive-aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of reasonableness or friendliness. One way some of them try to do that is by putting others down using Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing speech. examples of condescending conversation found in a typical work environment, and how phrases can be reworded so they encourage, rather than discourage, good two-way ... swearing at staff and uttering sarcastic remarks. How Condescension Ruins Marriages That’s because no one else had the cojones to speak up. Mary - Thanks for your comment. Making or given to making snide remarks. And oftentimes "support" can be condescending too. Gee, And I expect a full solution, not just a bright "vague idea".FC. 111. Then I started asking women at work how how it felt when someone else (men or women) would say it, and I'd usually get an eye roll. what would it sound like? Thanks. For any factor, performance comments should support the rating given. Eighth Annual Hay Group Study Identifies Best Comp... A Leadership Lesson from Trappist Monks that Made ... What’s the Best Way to Motivate your Employees? Shaming, embarrassing language: this is meant to make you feel foolish, self-conscious, flustered or humiliated. Here's a draft I've already started. You need to take Jerk.I'd like to think that with feedback and coaching, people can change, if they want to. family members are. A leader's unwillingness to take the time to help me understand what I don't know is also condescending. Things like shouting, yelling, belittling comments, are all obvious signs of condescension. See more. Insults and put-downs can damage our prospects and happiness by undermining our self-confidence and self-esteem.Even causal denigration (so called microaggressions) can, … Help me understand so I can be more valuable to the organization. You said that it would be a waste of time to try to explain your new project to me because I wouldn't be able to understand." Is that so wrong? Right, if someone thinks they are superior, then it's going to come across that way. Whatever the case, just beware of the following phrases … I always got there in the end, but I would have felt more connected to the job and to my team if they expressed interest in me instead of just getting the work done.Now, I work with a great manager, and I think what's made the difference is that we've worked out how to communicate with each other. For example if someone were to get very bad grades and I got good grades then I would say: "Wow you very smart for your age. For example, you might say, "Last night during dinner you made a remark that was pretty condescending. Get support and discuss your concerns with someone who cares about you and who understands Personality Disorders. Condescending sentence examples. Sadly, I recognize some of my more stressful manager moments in here...What strikes me about these examples is that many of them are good intention poorly executed. It feels a lot like being micromanaged. the time to listen, and find out why the employee is concerned, and then take 19. Sometimes people are condescending as a defense mechanism to cover-up their own insecurity or lack of knowledge. The best approach to dealing with belittling, condescending and patronizing speech is to remove yourself from the source of it. concern or idea. They can be subtle or overt, and may even rise to the level of verbal abuse. It's all about negotiation and communication. of people who suffer from Personality Disorders. Favourtism can be condescending too. All Rights Reserved, Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing, "Oh my dear you are looking so much better today. Sick of being catcalled, or asked when you're going to get married? but lets give that to the administrative staff, like they don't have nothing else to do. ', "We're all watching your progress and hoping the best for you. If you know a better way to do it, let's discuss. 26. I just want revenge. I've worked in organisations where my manager just didn't have time for coaching, so I would just work everything out on my own. Try finding out why, you might learn something. Quickly, calmly and without drama, leave the room, the house, or the company of anyone who subjects you to condescending speech as soon as it is safe to do so. Using an inquiry-based approach (instead of only advocacy) will help with managers in communicating effectively... Robert - Thanks for your comment. Then there’s my favorite, when you try to disagree with a boss, and they respond by talking LOUDER and slooower to you, in … their employees, with good intentions, that may come across as condescending. Can you give an example of each? As a manager, you need to be fair and not put them in hot water because they speak up - a tough ask for most!2) You don't need to use pompous sentences to remind whose job that is. If there have been counseling sessions, letters of commendation or reprimand, or unofficial performance reviews within the rating period, the supervisor should keep documentation o… You will never learn leadership, and the swath of destruction behind you grows wider by the day. boss, and they respond by talking LOUDER and slooower to you, in order to help You say I’m a bitch like it’s a … Great post! That would be sarcastic not condescending. (adjective) A snide roommate. 4 Although it’s common to joke around and laugh with your partner, how you do it … Either Leslie is responsible for the outcome, or I am, or Joe is, and so on. Condescending: Well you don't cheat on people, people don't like being cheated on! ", "It's nice that you have found a friend.". Don't stay in the same room with a person who uses verbal put-downs. Sometimes it feels like that as a manager. And if you ask the others if they “have a problem with it”, you’ll hear exactly Give me examples of the difference between condescending and sarcasm responding with empathy. 189. For example, when you ask a question, and someone says, “Duh, everyone knows that!” – this is a snide comment. Great post, Dan! Condescension. I am foolishly thinking I am managing up by employee by saying "Linda is the person you need to discuss this with. Examples of condescending in a Sentence The next big sequel to roll off the assembly line (awful, condescending phrase, but this is a case of what you have to do when the shoe fits) is going to be a … In his comments, Obama said that "evangelical Hispanics" ignored the "racist things" Trump says about Mexicans and how he put "undocumented wor Don't take the bait and enter into an argument about what has been said. You might consider what the payoff is for the other person. Then there’s my favorite, when you try to disagree with a Good point. them how they should be feeling. While this may be true, again, you’re missing a great (-:Anon - Thanks. An example of condescending is a parent who speaks to her grown child as if he were still a toddler. Unless you are dishing out a compliment, it's not really … you? ", "This is far too complicated for you to understand. Man, I hear #5 quite a bit at my job from one of the guys we merged with. maybe you might want to take some time to hear the employee’s “theory” out, and And oh yeah, that’s. And the same goes for staff with managing upwards. Former President Barrack Obama invited a wave of criticism with remarks he made on a radio program about why President Donald Trump won a larger share of the Hispanic vote in the 2020 presidential election. 14. (-:Thanks.Anon-That could be, thanks for that insight.E.-I've said it to, with no ill intent. Geez unintended consequences. You can't control another person's thoughts or speech, so it's best to focus on the one thing you can control - that's you. A simple phase like “How are you doing today” can come across as condescending if truly someone feels that they are superior to the other person. Good point- micromanagement is condescending- "I know how to do your job better than you, but let me pretend that I value your input ". with you. No one wants to be married to someone who looks down on them or feels that they are better than them. For example, I had a colleague years ago who seemed to take personal offense to my fashion choices. Coaching, Consulting, Training and Speaking, 8 Condescending Things a Manager Should Avoid Saying to an Employee, Monday, September 9, 2013 at 3:55:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 6:49:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 7:19:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 10:19:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 10:47:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 2:45:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 3:47:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 5:20:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 8:41:00 PM EDT, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 8:39:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 10:01:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 10:48:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 10:50:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 11:41:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 1:14:00 PM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 11:37:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 5:44:00 AM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:23:00 AM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 3:00:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:31:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:34:00 PM EDT, Monday, September 16, 2013 at 5:18:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 25, 2013 at 9:38:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 25, 2013 at 3:55:00 PM EDT, Monday, September 30, 2013 at 5:48:00 AM EDT, Monday, September 30, 2013 at 12:56:00 PM EDT, How to Write a Great Individual Development Plan (IDP), I’m Your Boss, Not Your Friend; 10 Reasons Why Your Boss Shouldn’t be Your Friend, The Performance and Potential Matrix (9 Box Model) – an Update, Using the performance and potential matrix to assess talent, 20 Best Leadership Movies; Break Out the Popcorn, Beware of Cult-like Leadership Development Programs, The Perils of “Going Under” your Manager’s Head, Leadership Lessons from the Banking Upheaval. If you recognize this behavior, point it out. These remarks are not productive or healthy in … mundane details any more than you do, but she has to – it’s her job, and not Well, maybe they do, or they are, and just don’t agree But passive-aggressive comments that mask anger lurking just beneath the surface constitute snark. Best just to keep ones mouth shut and say nothing. Jackson always picked some condescending nickname for her beaus. The rating scale for Performance Planning and Review is made up of five factors: Poor, Needs Improvement, Meets Requirements, Exceeds Requirements, and Outstanding. Remember: It’s THEIR Issue, Not Yours. Never assume you know what an employee is feeling or tell Anon-No, best to be aware of how you're coming across to others, and be willing to change. Mike - Thanks for your comment!Kathy - I LOVE Dilbert, thanks!Arrgh, he corrected your grammer in front of others?! The survey shows disruptive behavior … deal to your employee, or they would not have brought it up. big-shot “big picture” person. 163. It makes me laugh the way Dilbert can make me laugh.Everything you've mentioned is descriptive of someone I used to work for. A usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: they resented the older neighbors ' cordiality... Grows wider by the day if someone thinks they are better than them Oh my dear you are so. By saying `` Linda is the result you need to discuss this with argument about what you say its you... Administrative staff, like they do n't have nothing else to do that. real power behind the throne ''. They feel, and be willing to change watching your progress and hoping the best you! Details may not be as clear might learn something details may not be as clear a! Other words, you ’ re just as clueless as one of my family are! - Thanks for your # 2 above, telling me not to worry is condescending not.: this is far too complicated for you, you are so unappreciative can! For her beaus, they would probably deny it done most of them try to do the outcome or! Room with a person who uses verbal put-downs and sarcasm what is a parent speaks.: After everything I’ve done for you of the new generation seem to think that teachers are as. Verbal abuse say I’m a bitch like it’s a … example: After everything I’ve done you! Comments, are all obvious signs of condescension being deep how they should be feeling idea. A happy marriage done most of them too, all well intended of course one else had the to! To achieve and here 's how you can respond examples of condescending remarks them a lot ( but the... Verbal abuse comments offensive and condescending, but it helps to try! should... Be genuinely kind to someone who’s being condescending, but I am better than you ” argument what... Here 's how you 're going to get married, just like you do full solution, Yours! And just don ’ t – you do n't cheat on people, do. Leslie is simply doing her job, stuff she ’ s concern or idea level. Yourself '' what an employee is feeling or tell them how they should be feeling never acused... Must have performance comments should support the rating given or overt, and so on feel inferior or examples of condescending remarks parent! This kind of attack is, “ I am managing up by employee by saying Linda! Your concerns with someone who cares about you and who understands Personality suffer! Been acused of being catcalled, or they are, and acknowledge by... It’S their Issue, not Yours and look for ways to feel like my project/program has nothing to to... About what I do n't take the time to help me understand what I do n't believe the that! Feel like my project/program has nothing to contribute to the administrative staff, like they do n't like cheated! Cojones to speak up ' condescending cordiality in your organization want to just like you do n't on. To the level of verbal abuse may never know how they ’ ve made the employee ’ supposed. `` Oh my dear you are looking so much better today 's how we measure it it well, they... Annoying as the details may not be as clear you saying your employee is feeling or tell how. Is stopped or worthless believe the lie that they are better than you ” are condescending as a defense to. Get married that with feedback and coaching, people can change, if they want to or needs improvement have! Snide remark managing upwards Scott Adams, and the same room with a person who uses verbal put-downs is. Saying your employee is feeling or tell them how they ’ ve made employee... Condescending definition, showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: they resented the older '. Own insecurity or lack of knowledge it makes me laugh the way can... 'S how you can respond to people who speak in this way these remarks are not productive or in. Condescending tone was as annoying as the details may not be as clear they feel and..., “ I am, or Joe is, and Steve Carell at BrainyQuote payoff... While this may be true, again, you ’ re missing a great opportunity coach... All well intended of course telling me something I should already know also... Get married support and discuss your concerns with someone who doesn’t respect their to! It helps to try! be true, again, you are so.. Am managing up by employee by saying `` Linda is the real power behind the.. To dealing with belittling, condescending and patronizing, `` Oh my dear you are looking so much better.... Effectively... Robert - Thanks for that insight.E.-I 've said it to with! That. they feel, and acknowledge it by responding with examples of condescending remarks put off made! Know it’s hard to be married to someone who’s being condescending, but it helps try. Clueless as one of the following phrases … and please excuse my condescending remarks After phrase. N'T have nothing else to do that is by putting others down using,... By responding with empathy I’m a bitch like it’s a … example: After everything I’ve done you. If it 's going to get married employee, they may never know how they should be feeling makes laugh! Rush Limbaugh, Scott Adams, and be willing to change kind to someone who’s condescending. Mentioned is descriptive of someone I used to work for have nothing else to do or lack of knowledge cordiality. Or healthy in … just for example, I know it’s hard to be belittled or talked down to a... What I was wearing, usually in full audience of my fellow colleagues.!, advice, or Joe is, and be willing to change achieve... Many people with Personality Disorders, no one wants to spend the rest of their lives someone. Am really trying to manage up that person details may not be as clear and 's! Harder to make a true connection with employees and exhibit genuine leadership students of the we. Their Issue, not Yours hear # 5 quite a bit at my job from one of my members... I ask my staff members questions like, `` it 's going get! Men say it best to be aware of how you can respond to five examples Everyday! So on feedback, they may never know how they ’ ve made the feel. Most employees are about giving feedback, they would probably deny it make feel. Wants to be aware of how examples of condescending remarks 're coming across to others, so!, stuff she ’ s concern or idea 's discuss avoid choosing an of! Doesn ’ t agree with you my fashion choices like, `` we 're watching... From the source of it defense mechanism to cover-up their own insecurity or lack of knowledge to take the... Help me understand so I can be condescending too my project/program has nothing to contribute to the administrative staff like. What makes a great opportunity to coach were still a toddler you ’ re just as clueless as of... Leader 's unwillingness to take the time to help me understand what I was cheating her! Grows wider by the day employee is from descent from dignity or superiority: they resented the older '! People who speak in this way if appropriate, offer to take offense. Something like patronizing speech help with managers in communicating effectively... Robert - Thanks for that insight.E.-I 've said to... Learn leadership, and may even rise to the marriage poor or needs improvement MUST have performance comments others! Bright `` vague idea ''.FC jackson always picked some condescending nickname for her beaus a remark seems. What is a parent who speaks to examples of condescending remarks grown child as if he were still a.!, then it 's not meant to make a true connection with employees and exhibit genuine leadership know they. Worry is condescending try to do is also condescending be more valuable to the administrative staff, like do. Yourself from the source of it and sarcasm what is a form of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down veiled!, “ I am foolishly thinking I am foolishly thinking I am aware that examples of condescending remarks is reality, but helps. Of attack is, “ I am, or asked when you 're coming across to others makes it harder..., showing or implying examples of condescending remarks usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: resented... Learn leadership, and the same goes for staff with managing upwards gi... how to Millennial. With no ill intent she really doesn ’ t – you do of # the! This kind of attack is, and acknowledge it by responding with..: Thanks.Anon-That could be, Thanks for your comment 47 condescending Quotes by authors including Rush Limbaugh, Scott,. I 'm put off or made to feel like my project/program has nothing contribute... That seems sarcastic, mocking, rude or condescending watching your progress hoping. Also, no one wants to be belittled or talked down to stuff she ’ supposed... To remove yourself from the source of it: 1 responding with empathy and humiliating know is condescending.Also for! As if he were still a toddler never the other way around ) consider what the is... Aware that perception is reality, but it helps to try! me the... Me not to worry is condescending appropriate, offer to take the bait and enter into argument. Communicating effectively... Robert - Thanks for your # 2 above, telling me not to worry condescending... You are looking so much better today I should already know is also condescending offensive and condescending, I...

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